I am slowly emerging.

Exhaustion? Yes. It's here.

Culture stress? Yes. Even after 13 years, the subtle nuances and stark contrasts of our culture of origin and the culture we reside in can overpower and fatigue.

Broken hearts over goodbyes?

Joy of hellos?

It all intermingles into something called "Re-entry".

We most often use the term to refer to returning to our original home. But I also think it applies to "re-entering" the third world we reside in for this season of life.

We step from the carpeted passageways of American airports with Starbucks in hand and within 24 hours step out into an entirely different world. No carpet. No Starbucks. But a whole lot of reality.

We have had limited power and very, very weak internet since our return. Our home was overcome with mildew, dust and mold requiring the laundring of every single thing in closets and every piece of linen.
CD and DVD cases that were stored inside wood cupboards were covered with a layer of green mold. Dishes and utensils also had to be scrubbed to remove the layer of mold taking residence on their exterior.
Cobwebs, grime, dust, and the bold scent of mildew permeates the place we need as a haven.

And so I dive in. With rubber gloves. Bleach. White vinegar. Pledge. And my vacuum cleaner (when the power is on). I sweep, mop, dust and clean.

I retire old curtains. Buy new mattresses. Wash and wash and wash sheets and blankets and towels...

Downpouring rains and stifled power supply try to thwart my efforts to reclaim our home...but I labor on.

In the midst of it all...we have to eat. And Taco Bell is VERY FAR AWAY.

My dear teammate and our loving missionary community kept our tummies filled for a full week which saved us all. We've picked up meals on our own now and I'm reminded of how much time must be spent on our food each day in order to have meals and snacks for my children's cavernous tummies.

School must begin. Bags must be unpacked. Ministry demands our constant energy and attention.

And here sits the computer. My link to you.

As always, I have much to share.

Even from furlough...there remains much to say.

And as we have been thrown headlong back into the fray here, I have many thoughts.

Much grace from God to share with you.

But getting all this technology to work takes hours sometimes.
(I am noticing even now that our internet is off before I've published.) And I often cannot take the time to tackle this mountain of technological obstacles in order to publish the thoughts bouncing around in my brain.

Nonetheless, I am emerging. From the goodbyes. From the pain. From the warmth of good memories. From the fog of jet lag. From the life lessons. From the scent of mildew. (smile) From the reality of rotten technology.

Emerging a woman with a clearer understanding of my deep need for Jehovah God.

A daughter who more deeply trusts the Faithful Father who Never Quits.

A warrior wounded yet refined from fiery battle.

I am emerging to continue on.

And do the next thing.

I'm back friends.

And we have so much to talk about!

Whew!

Sometimes this homemaking thing runs me over like a truck.

In my head, I have lovely visions of schedules and systems and progress...

But more often than not, I find my self feeling flattened underneath all the undone.

And so we have today.

My task for this morning was to clean our bedroom. I announced it to the children. I set up a video to entertain them. I didn't even take time to shower. Straight to the task.

And then...

There were just a few remaining breakfast dishes to complete. I quickly washed them praising Aimee Jo in my head for tackling the pile earlier and knocking a huge dent in the never ending stack.

After that short task was accomplished, the "entertained" kiddos were already back in the kitchen feigning hunger nigh unto death. I can't remember what I offered them. But I'm pretty sure they weren't happy with it. In the process of filling their cavernous tummies, I realized I hadn't eaten yet today.

I sat to eat my breakfast quickly, only to be overwhelmed by the dust and mess covering Jeff's desk. I decided that I would quickly dust his desk, which also turned into dismantling a plastic table and pulling up the dirty table cloth from the dining table. Actions that are logical counterparts to "dusting Jeff's desk."

I quickly turned to the table linen cabinet to find a fresh tablecloth. This, of course, led to emptying the linen cabinet and sorting placemats.

Naturally, that meant redoing the entire set up of the buffet so that the linen arrangement there would match the linen arrangement on the table.

I think this is a sickness.

Just as I was officially headed down the hall to the bedroom, I heard a crash. Baxter, the pooch, had knocked off a glass bowl of maple syrup that unnamed child left within doggy reach in the living room. Don't even get me started on the hard and fast "don't eat in the living room rule". I didn't have time to ponder because there were now shards of glass all over the floor. Sticky with maple syrup.

Sweeping, mopping and carefully scouring the floor took the better part of the next hour...since the sweeping, mopping and scouring also involved locating the matching candles for the redecorated dining table.

Lunchtime was upon us and that would require a quick trip to town. I ran and bought the things I needed and came home to yummy eggsalad sandwiches (thanks Aimee Jo!) and nap wrangling.
After four books (two of which I paraphrased like a mad woman) the youngest were down for a nap. The older offspring were off on a backpack adventure in our yard.

I wish I could say I tackled my initial project with gusto. But, the Colts were playing on ESPN and that required my full attention, for about 20 minutes. At which point I realized the three year old had been drawing a road map on his body with a marker instead of napping. I washed and wrangled some more.

Over the next few hours, I intermitently passed between my bedroom and his. He needed reminding of who was in charge. I, apparently, needed to walk 20 miles back and forth down our hallway.

My bedroom was still untouched. And my children were again starving.

I headed back into the fray of food prep and bath time. Interspersed with sweeping my bedroom floor and emptying trash. After four hundred thousand rounds (or so)of "Silas, do not touch Baxter again." Accompanied by a rousing rendition of "You may not have chocolate and ice cream for dinner"...we had children fed, washed, prayed over and tucked in.

I now sit before the computer amazed that the third load of laundry for the day is in process, no one sliced their toes on shards of glass from this morning's incident, and the Chargers beat the Colts. The dinner dishes are also done. And Anaiah's coos are coming from the swing.

Many good things were accomplished today. Including tidying my bedroom (finally).

So, why is it that all I can think about is the monstrous mess in my pantry. The huge pile of ironing. The toy sorting that the boys' room desperately needs. The cookies I intended to bake and didn't. Unsuccessful discipline techniques for my three year old and my new puppy...

These ponderings leave me feeling flattened. I need to pull myself off the pavement and count my blessings. Rest in the moment. Take a shower. :-)

We made it through the day. And the fresh table linens look splendid.

May your day be blessed in the joy of accomplishing even one small thing!

It's Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas....

...well, at least it looks Merry in our living room!
The Christmas tree is up! The kids hung ornaments yesterday with Alvin and the Chipmunks (of course) singing carols in the background. And I have been hanging up Santa stuff and draping tinsel and lights like nobody's business.
Now, I am tired. But the result of our labor is pretty great.
I think I'll go make a cup of apple cider, stare at the Christmas lights...and then drift off to sleep.
Joy!

Mam-ma's Recipes...

I made pies this week. Apple, pumpkin and chocolate cream.

When I got married, Mom had Mam-ma write out recipes for me and Mom did the same.

Pretty remarkable how making a pie or cake off a recipe with Mam-ma's or Mom's handwriting can bring comfort to my soul.

But is sure does. For a brief moment, I am in Mam-ma's kitchen with her. I can see her hands...hear her voice. "Always wash your hands when you are cooking. One time I was at a friend's house and she kept wiping at her nose while she cooked. I'nt that AWFUL!!!" She said it with mock disdain and a smile.
"oooooo I can't wait for everyone to get here..." and she'd go through the list of what she had made for each person...

... apple pie for Dad, coconut cream for Pat, german chocolate cake for Tommy, angel food cake for Tanner and Reese, and I can't remember the specifics for the rest of us...but Mam-ma sure could...

That was her self-appointed job. Providing sweet treats for each and everyone. She loved it so much. And you didn't hear us complaining...:-)

After cooking, Mam-ma would wash every dish ("I can't STAND a messy kitchen!"), pour herself a glass of iced tea, wrap a paper napkin around the bottom of the cup and sit in her chair to watch her "story". Or, if she wasn't too beat, she'd pull out the cards or Boggle and play a game with me at the kitchen bar.

We'd answer the phone for Granddaddy's lawn mower repair business, wait for Granddaddy to come in smelling of gasoline and oil, and maybe get to eat a "good 'ole sanwich" before Mom and Dad came to pick me up!

Good times.

Funny how pie recipes can bring all that back...

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! May your day be filled with wonderful memories and the makings of more to come!

My New Friend

Our last trip to the capital of Uganda had my mind on one thing. I needed a friend. And I was set to find that friend.

I asked God to provide. I was asking, not for necessity. But out of longing. And a tad bit of desperation.

One shopping day. Pile of shillings in my bag. Deliberate walk to the back of the huge, amazing department store in Kampala.

And there....with etheral lights shining around it...and the hint of the hallelujah chorus in the background...was My New Friend.

Now, I was warned about buying my Friends in life. But sometimes you have to make the exception.

And so I did. My bright shining Friend stands proudly in my laundry room. Her name is Whirlpool and she hums delightfully as she works.
She gives to me graciously. Scrubbing, wringing, cleaning and releasing me to serve my family in other ways. All her valves and doohickies work brilliantly and the floods of the laundry room have ceased. And I love her.

Sometimes, friends are friends forever. I don't know if this relationship will last that long....but for now, she makes me smile everytime I see her.
And that is a great friend to have.