Rains

The drenching rain pours. We sit sheltered, today, from its harshest effects.

We are in an RV on the Oregon Coast for a two night repose.

Kinley reads. The boys watch cartoons. Isaac plays games on an iphone.

I peruse the internet and Jeff sneaks in a much deserved nap.

He has driven many, many miles. There are more ahead.

Breakfast settles into our stomachs and the smell of bacon and coffee remain comforting and warm.

This motor home is our very first home. The only one we have ever fully owned.

We sleep, lined up like matchsticks, cozy and ordered.

In the midst of furlough that disperses our family into larger family systems we claim two nights and some hours as just Us.

We get this gift often as we serve in Uganda. The isolation we feel anchors us to each other and shapes our family. We anticipate outlets and opportunities to venture outside of our family for moments and respites, but find ourselves resting and resolving best when we get back face to face and shoulder to shoulder with this, Our Team.

Amazing the ‘able-ness’ of our God. How He fills and inspires and motivates right where He calls.

I sip another cup of coffee. Stare at these God has allowed me for now. And continue in a season of Thanksgiving. Prolong the acknowledgement of harvest.

It aches. A place setting for each of mine. While others, those dear to me, acutely feel the empty space. The one who met Jesus ahead of us.

I strive to welcome this awareness. This loss that does not relent even as cheery music wafts and lights twinkle. I want to honor the road my warrior friends are navigating.

I want the courage to be Real. Lord, make me able to accept and make a secure place for Authentic. For the painful inexpressible. For the need to be silent. For the ache to wail. For the blessing of remembering. For the completely unpredictable process of a healing wound.

I have time today to sit and think. To remember. To pray.  To cry. To thank. To learn.

All as the drenching rain pours.

Into the storms around me, with humble courage-seeking voice, I speak to believe. I speak to choose.

“Blessed be the name of the Lord.”