“The
Lord had said to Abram, ‘Leave your country, your people and your father’s
household and go to the land I will show you.’
‘I will make you into a great nation and
I will bless you…and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.’
So
Abram left, as the Lord had told him;”
Genesis
12: 1-4
“But
Abram said, ‘O Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless…
You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.”
“Then
the word of the Lord came to him… ‘Look up at the heavens and count the
stars---if indeed you can count them… So shall your offspring be.”
“Abram
believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.”
“But
Abram said, ‘O Sovereign Lord, how can I know…”
Genesis
15:2-6;8
I was sitting in an empty space when these words
trumpeted, echoing into my fears.
My expectations were not being met and in the vacancy of
disappointment I heard Abram’s cry in my own:
“O Sovereign Lord, how can I know…”
Abram received a calling buoyed by big promises. He
followed with obedience and belief.
The results were years of hollow silence and endless
waiting.
In the stillness of my own unanswered hopes, I hear Abram
and Sarai chuckle into my ear…
“Obedience can look and feel barren.”
Called away from their home community and promised God’s
faithfulness, with absolutely nothing to show for it for many, many bloody
months, Sarai and Abram walked to the consistent cadence of “no,” and “not
yet.” They lived with a barrenness
that was regular and routine. A barrenness that constantly whispered the threat
of ‘never’, leaving residue of abandonment and loss.
Obedience and grief so often go hand in hand.
Reading this truth in the hallowed story of Abraham
relieves me (I'm not weird!).
And it frustrates me (I want obedience and ABUNDANCE to
walk right beside each other!).
“Oh Sovereign Lord, how can I know…”
It is easy to celebrate success and accumulation.
Accumulation of material goods, or esteem or degrees or dollars…this we can
feel blessing in and see with our eyes.
The picture of what we have can be posted into the world
around us as proof of our value. As proof that God is involved.
Abraham and Sarah’s story teaches that God is involved in
other scenarios too.
Scenarios that hurt.
In scenarios that appear empty.
When desolate circumstances linger, it can be tempting to
meddle and stew toward my own solutions.
To look for a Hagar to solve the problem.
“Now
Sarai, Abram’s wife had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian
maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, ‘The Lord has kept me from
having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family
through her.”
Genesis
16:1-2
Sarai (with Abram’s willing participation) jumps ahead of
God's perfectly designed plan. They usher Hagar into an equation where she
wasn't supposed to be. Consequence does follow, much of it negative and
hurtful, but God stayed in all of it.
And He revealed Himself (The God Who Sees) in a whole new
way.
There is a VERY wide zone in the story of Abraham and his
family. There is trust and belief, yes, (especially on the part of Abraham).
But there is also disbelief, and mockery, and doubt and lack of patience. Good
decisions, bad decisions. Good behavior, bad behavior. God saw it all. He stayed
with it all. He promised. He purposed. He blessed. And He never strayed from
the plan He had chosen already.
Into the messy entanglements they brought on themselves,
God continued to love.
Into the pounding ache of prolonged frustration, God continued
to love.
He made himself known.
“Against
all hope, Abraham in hope believed…”
Romans
4:18a
In betrayals and heartbreaks. In the waiting seasons we
writhe underneath, I can hear our very consistent God say:
I
am not surprised or confused by your current circumstance.
“He
is before all things and in him all things hold together.”
Colossians
1:17
And
the barren days you endure, are not what they seem.
“…the
God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they
were.”
Romans
4:17b
They
are Me alongside you, in such a way that nobody can miss it.
Presence
is my Promise.
I
have always and I will continue to be With.
“…be
content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”
Hebrews
13:5
Know
me. Acknowledge me by Name.
“Because
he loves me,’ says the Lord, ‘I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he
acknowledges my name.”
Psalm
91:14
El
Roi.
“She
gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me…”
Genesis
16:13
Yahweh
Shammah.
‘The
Lord is There.’
“In
all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of his presence saved
them…”
Isaiah
63:9a
Immanuel.
“...which
means, ‘God with us.”
Matt
1:23b
When silence echoes around me and my eyes grow tired of
the strain of watchful waiting; when my heart feels burdened with the weight of
emptiness, the laughter of an aging and wrinkled mother fills my soul.
“Now
the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said and the Lord did for Sarah what
he had promised.”
Genesis
21:1
“In
his love and mercy he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them…”
Isaiah
63:9b
2 comments:
How beautiful are your words of praise and worship!
I want to encourage you to be aware of every moment of every day. We seem to need to see God's power in big ways so that we feel worthy of serving him.
Looking back on our time in Kenya and now finishing up a teaching career, I'm amazed how God (I feel) has been preparing me for the next step: taking scripture to the Bible-less in Africa. I look at the trials I walked through, the training life gave me, the blessings of people and experiences...I can go on and on.
Continue just as you are: seeking his face, resting in his promises, being his hands and feet on earth. Down the road, you may be able to look back and really understand how he was working through you.
Blessings,
Mary Heleln
Truth in the innermost places--that's what I see as the desire of your heart through these words. And it is beautiful. You are His handmaiden, awaiting His pleasure, focused on His face. He delights in you.
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