It all began with a little flick about my high school senior year football season. We watched it the other night. (my opinion of the movie still stands at "weird". Some of the movie I hated...some of it was all right. All in all...weird. But I digress...)
We were the Panthers. Mojo. And that is cool. Tough. Panthers are...intimidating.
The question was posed later among my housemates here...what are people thinking when they pick school mascots? I mean, I think the mascot is probably picked by committees. Things like that usually fall to a committee. And, really, what are people thinking?!!?!?
At some point in any school (high school, junior high, college, university) competition does enter the picture and it would seem to me that "the committee" would choose mascots that would instill confidence...courage...boldness...pride.
Well, my friends. Not so.
Take for instance the poor university students in Camas Washington. The Papermakers. Yep. Of all the mighty. scary, fear inducing animals available to choose from...their committee chose Papermakers.
Or you have the mighty...the proud...the Oakville Acorns. Acorns?
Or, from Indiana, the Goshen College Maple Leafs.
Is anybody scared? I can't begin to imagine what the fight song might be.
For goodness sakes.
I thought that, surely, these mascot choosing blunders would be limited to a few schools but take a look at what I found with only a few VERY interrupted minutes of research on the web:
Banana Slugs--University of California
Turtles--College of Insurance (not sure where)
Retrievers--Univ. of Marlyand
Rainbows--Univ of Hawaii (why not Sharks?)
Anteaters--University of California
or...even more unfortunate...
the Buttons in San Antonio
and the Daisies of Dallas Hockaday School (all girls?)
For those that are intimidated by rhyming verse...you will shudder when you are called to face the Poets of Whittier College.
And for those with a fear of the religious...beware the Whitman Missionaries (we are a fierce sort) or the Preachers of Johnson Bible College.
My top picks are as follows:
Most clever---the Lincoln Abes in Tacoma Washington
Most scary--tie between the Klickitat Vandals and the Grays Harbor Chokers
Most difficult names for the girls' teams---tie between the Whatcom Orcas or Yakima Valley Yaks
But, my most favorite, unfortunate mascot falls to Kaelea's high school in Montana. They were...brace yourselves...the Sugarbeaters.
Oh my. The actual picture of their mascot was a red beet riding on a pair of beaters.
And despite that...their girls volleyball team went to State. Bless their little sugarbeatin' hearts.
I'm not totally sure why this bugs me so. I guess...I believe, deep down, that everyone deserves a chance. And when it comes to kids and athletics...you just shouldn't send them out to face their menacing opponents,like the Lions or Wildcats with a name like Buttons or Billygoats.
It just doesn't seem fair.