"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17
When we were preparing to leave for Uganda, many precious souls passed on interesting, humorous (and on rare occassions--helpful:-) tidbits of advice to insure survival in a third world country.
Of all the wonderful bits I gleaned, one morsel has proven to be the jewel.
The sage comment came from someone I barely knew. She was the preachers wife at Jeff's home church. At one point she pulled me aside and said, "Sometimes, the only thing there is to do is lay down across your bed and cry. So when you need to, I give you permission. Just cry it out!"
The wise voice of a veteran. In these East Africa years, everytime I have opened the floodgates to release the pent up mess inside me...I have thought of her generous gift to me. Understanding and validity.
Tonight, I am exhausted. Completely depleted, can hardly lift my arms, brain dead---exhausted.
My heart is broken. And I have laid across my bed and cried.
Why do we do it?
The specific details are really not that important in the end. The basic framework is usually the same. Someone seperates himself from God. Doesn't trust. Starts with a little bit... Rationalizes. Becomes entangled....begins to die...
This week the smell of death overpowered us in the Fort Portal church. But after three days of confession, repentance, accountability and God's Grace (deep sigh)...I perceive Revival has begun.
One man. Poor choices. Anger. Accusation. Confession. Guilt. Promises. Betrayal. Tears.
And many broken hearts. Not the least of which...is His.
But in that Mysterious and Mind Boggling Way...He actually has us now...right where He can meet us.
Broken. Hurting. On our knees. Needing...
The Healer. Saviour. Compassionate One.
In our moments of shattering confession...we are real. Pretension erased. Hearts laid bare. And He begins to Heal. Painfully. Gently. Faithfully. Healing...Hearing...Watching.
It's not what this third world has come to expect. Shame. Accusation. Blame and Abandonment. That's what accompanies the darkness.
How unbelievably brilliant is His Revealing Light. Waiting, hopeful, ready...to flood the gloom of a dying heart. And Revive.
Please pray today for the heart of my dear brother here. Pray that he will be strong to stand, in a different way than anyone around him. Revealed. Imperfect. Forgiven. Fought for. Redeemed.
"Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Psalm 51:10-12