We hit a milestone this week.
Our baby turned two. And we are NOT expecting another one! :-)
Two is always a memorable birthday...it marks the beginning of what will be some intense years of parenting. These boundary testing times....my oh my.
The irony of a two year old is that the complete joy and delight of one moment can instantaneously transform into the most difficult test of patience and temper you have ever experienced....and then, before the time-out is complete...you're back to joy and delight.
Quite the ride.
And I have to say...one I'm glad to experience...all told.
Silas was our true surprise. My first months of carrying him were filled with astounded shock. I COULD NOT be pregnant. But, alas. The nausea over came me...and the stick showed two lines.
His arrival took place on this soil...Uganda. His first months were full of colicky fun (?). His first year included travel to four different countries, a trip to Disneyland and so much attention from his doting siblings he still thinks the world revolves around him.
He is....a sign of how well God knows me....and keeps on giving anyway.
My birthing days have been a whirlwind. Four kids in 5 1/2 years. The baby years have felt like a blur. But through this last one...I've been able to actually hold on to the moments a time or two.... and I have so cherished those times. I think with number four...I was trying really hard to pay attention.
My Father must have known I needed that.
One more opportunity to open my eyes a little wider. One more baby to have our features and personality traits (egads!)--with all the joy and humility that demands! One more precious awareness of the constant need to re-evaluate what I value.
On his birthday this week, he actually let me rock him for 20 minutes. We had guests coming for a party. I had lunch to get ready...cakes to ice...a floor to sweep. But it was time for his nap and I was trying to make it a little bit special. He cuddled in my lap and we sat in the silence. Just the two of us. Rocking. I guess because I know from experience that these moments rush away...I WAS paying attention. And it was delightful.
Several of my friends are already at the letting go stage of parenting...and I'm starting to believe them when they say it will be here before I know it.
But it's hard to think about that now. Tomorrow lies on the other side of a few hours of sleep...and with tomorrow comes sippy cups to fill, diapers to change, potty training to master, more than one battle of wills, books to read,pacifiers to locate...
Through the blur, the "moments" emerge. I'm striving to savor and experience...not just "get through".
For me, Silas' two year mark, signifies the longest stretch I've gone in 7 years without being pregnant. (Could it be we FINALLY figured this out?!?!?)
But more than that. Silas' big day signifes God's all knowing and yet remarkably merciful care. He KNOWS what we deserve and yet lovingly gives us something way better. It's pretty stinkin' great, if you ask me.
I always wanted to be a Mommy.
God blessed me four times over. He is good.
Happy Birthday Silas. I am so glad you are here!